Chaos and So On
2004-02-07 - 12:23 a.m.

Out of chaos, comes order. Out of order, comes routine. Out of routine comes boredom, and out of boredom, stagnation. Stagnation eventually brings about an inability to move, a compulsion to stay put that is as heavy and as irremovable as a bucket of dried cement around the knees.

The inability to move will inevitably produce hunger, which will in turn create a desire for food. Gathering food, however, would necessitate the ability to move, and, as postulated, this is impossible.

When stuck and hungry, the natural reaction is first defiance (I can get food if I want it), followed by ambivalence (Is it possible that I cannot move?). Next comes an overwhelming sense of helplessness (I’m never going to be able to get out of here alone). Finally, in absence of anyone to heed the pleas for help, comes the sense of defeat (I am going to die here.)

So what do I blame for my current plight? Do I blame chance for creating routine, which brought about listlessness and laziness in me? Do I blame my current stagnation, which wasn’t really my fault in the first place? To be truthful, I haven’t experienced hunger, but I do have an overwhelming desire for things I can no longer obtain. A boat, a surfboard, an airplane, even a simple rope, all things I’d really like to have handy right now.

I’ve progressed through all the stages that I discussed, and have moved into the fifth stage: acceptance. Even if there were more stages, I doubt I’d have time to reach them, because the quicksand just covered my belly button.