Tom, Fred, and Horace
2004-01-12 - 11:29 p.m.

If it hadn’t been so dark, chances are Tom would have seen the freshly turned soil beside the path. However, it was dark, and he did not see it, and, as result, he did not dig it up.

He went on with his life and eventually died poor and penniless in a soup kitchen down near Washington Park. The hobos and prostitutes would have mourned his death if he’d known any of them. He did not, and so he was not mourned.

A few hours after Tom walked past, Fred walked down the same path. The sun was just rising, and Fred saw the fresh soil. He proceeded to dig, and found, to his amazement, fourteen gold bars that turned out to be worth approximately seventeen million dollars apiece. He sold them to the first millionaire who offered to purchase them, and lived the rest of his life as a godlike figure among a primitive Caribbean tribe.

The unfortunately named Horace, who walked by thirty-five minutes after Fred, noticed the hole, but he also noticed it was empty. There was nothing for him to discover, so he just kept walking.

A few years later, someone planted a tree in the hole, and in a few thousand years a forest grew around it.

What more can be said?